My son turns 18 next Tuesday. I think both of us are in a bit of a daze with the thought of this important birthday. I know he is doing a bit of testing, thinking perhaps he can take a different tone with me now. He is learning he cannot.
Today he asked me why I seemed down. And why was I acting like I thought no one liked me, and saying things like, "Don't put me in a home." That statement is simply my worrying early to avoid the rush. I told him he was grown up now, and I didn't think he needed me. Yes I know, this is all my own psychosis. He said I was wrong, and that he did need me. Should have left it at that, but I asked him for three reasons why I was needed.
I know better than to ask that kind of question of someone with testicles. He immediately got the deer in the headlights look and blurted out: Well, didn't you tell me you pay the mortgage every month? I had indeed told him that several months ago. I did it because he wasn't real happy when asked to open up little bags with knobs and screws inside them. I told him, "These knobs pay the house payment" and he was amazed to hear that. He's only a kid, and I just smiled after his reason #1.
Reason #2 was the fact that I raised him, so he must need me. And that if I hadn't raised him he'd probably be really screwed up by now. I thought to myself: Given the fact I did raise you, it's a wonder you aren't really screwed up by now.
Reason #3? He knocked it out of the park. He said I did many nice things for Kenna (his girlfriend) as well as other people, and that I was a very self-less person in his opinion.
I thanked him for his reasons, of course. Then I went to my room and had a good cry.....