Tuesday, April 1, 2008
My dogs and I were in the blue car, waiting for the left turn arrow to change to green. The white car ran a light and was t-boned by another car traveling about 60 mph through the intersection. The impact sent the white car airborne where it rolled twice before coming to rest where you see it. The whole scene unfolded in front of me, in slow motion, like some kind of surreal nightmare. I thought this was the end of my life. In some ways, it was.
The Lord sent an army of angels to help me, and He has seen to it that my primary care doctor, my physical therapist, and even my counselor all are Christians. This was my prayer, and He answered it. The fact I was able to get out of my car by myself is a true miracle.
The woman in the white car ~ I do not know why she ran the light. Was she on a cell phone? Was she drinking? Was she distracted by some event in her life? I saw her approach the intersection. She wasn't speeding, nor was she weaving. Straight as an arrow she drove through that red light. That leads me to believe she wasn't having her own medical emergency at the time.
This accident occurred 20 months ago. Wednesday I begin what I hope is the final course of therapy to try to strengthen one of the rotator cuff muscles which is torn. This was only recently diagnosed, despite my complaining about it for a long, long time. I will have pain for the rest of my life. Yet I am so blessed to have survived this very close call.
Emotionally, a lot of things changed on that day. Gone are the "hey, let's go out and get ice cream" or "I'm gonna run to the craft store and look around." Every trip in a car (be it as a driver or a passenger) is a major event which involves some level of anxiety, and sometimes panic. I know the Lord, I know my life is in His hands. Logically, I know these things. Emotionally, every fiber of my being tells me not to go out, it's too big of a risk.
Maybe, when all the legal things are taken care of. When the doctor and therapist and counselor have decided I'm as well as I'm gonna be physically and emotionally. When I no longer have to be poked and pushed on. When the mailman stops bringing bills from all these medical people. Maybe then I will have some sort of closure. Till then, I take it day by day and do the best I can, and praise God for all He has done for me.
Most of us live in a hectic, fast paced, sometimes frantic world. A car is a deadly weapon. I think that fact is often forgotten as we travel about talking on the cell phone, mentally planning our day, drinking coffee, trying to find that perfect radio station. I offer this post as a little reminder.